Richie's (Not Very) Wholesome Chat
by climbergirlio
Summary: Your favorite losers and all their texting adventures! Featuring pre-relationship Reddie and Stenbrough, established relationship Benverly, and eventually Reddie and Stenbrough relationships. Pennywise isn't in this, and it's slightly AU because they have phones so they live in modern time.


Richie's (Not Very) Wholesome Chat

 **In the chat:**

Queen B-Bev

Big Ben-Ben

Stan-Stan

Home Boy-Mike

Spaghetti-Eddie

RICHie-Richie

Mom FriendTM-Bill

**In Stan and Mike's chat, Mike's name is Mic, as in the short form of Microphone. All other names should be self explanatory, hopefully

 **Friday, 11:32 a.m.**

 _RICHie changed the name of this conversation to 'Richie's Wholesome Chat'_

 **RICHie:** where my wholesome peoples at?

 **Stan:** Please, no.

 **Home Boy:** oh no

 **Queen B:** richie u r the last person who should be calling themselves a 'wholesome person'

 **Stan:** No that would be I, the heartless

 **Queen B:** STAN DSGFHJGVXKJGSH

 **RICHie:** i feel unsafe

 **Stan:** good

 **Spaghetti:** how has no one addressed that richie called it his chat

 **Spaghetti:** also stan asajkjdvk

 _RICHie changed Stan's name to I, the Heartless_

 **I, the Heartless:** no

 _I, the Heartless changed their name to Stan_

 **RICHie:** you wound me

 **Stan:** good.

 **Home Boy:** Stan aasjkchbf

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** guys youre supposed to be in class

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** Bev, you're supposed to be in my class

 **RICHie:** and once more the user is flawless for billiam

 **Stan:** I have an off.

 **Home Boy:** homeschool :/

 **Queen B:** richie and I ditched

 **Spaghetti:** again?

 **RICHie:** ya

 **RICHie:** ill be there for lunch tho

 **RICHie:** to get some sweet sweet lovin from ms k

 **Spaghetti:** Beep beep

 **Stan:** no, please don't come.

 **RICHie:** only for you stanny boy

 **Spaghetti:** actyually?

 **RICHie:** i mean,, stanathen really doesnt want me there

 **RIChie:** :'(((

 **Stan:** fine, you over dramatic baby.

 **Queen B:** stan asjkdahcs

 **RICHie:** mommy my friends are mean to me

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** suck it up buttercup

 **Queen B:** bill jsaklfjdchvda

 **Big Ben:** why does this chat only consist of bev keyboard smashing

 **RICHie:** what do u mena

 **RICHie:** i smash ur mom all the time

 **Spaghetti:** beep beep trashmouth

 **Big Ben:** beep beep richie

 **Queen B:** ben :/

 **Big Ben:** sorry, bevvy, it's true

 **Big Ben:** but i still love u

 **Queen B:** luv u 2

 **RICHie:** ew what is this heterosexualness in my good chat

 **Spaghetti:** the heteros have emerged once more

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** boys, stop being heterophobic

 **Queen B:** thanks mom

 **Stan:** Bill, stop feeding their delusions. There is no such thing as heterophobic.

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** ok

 **RICHie:** bill /3

 **Spaghetti:** bill /3

 **Queen B:** awwwww they said the same thing 3333

 **Spaghetti:** bev

 **Spaghetti:** no

 **RICHie:** awwwww

 **RICHie:** would you look at that

 **RICHie:** eds and I are in sync

 **Spaghetti:** no.

 **Spaghetti:** and

 **Queen B:** DON'T CALL ME THAT

 **Big Ben:** DON'T CALL ME THAT

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** DON'T CALL ME THAT

 **Spaghetti:** DON'T CALL ME THAT

 **Stan:** Eddie, you're predictable

 **RICHie:** aslihfjkcdw

 **RICHie:** at least ur user is spaghetti

 **Big Ben:** yea why is that

 **Spaghetti:** because he made it that

 **Big Ben:** and you left it?!

 **Spaghetti:** watch

 _Spaghetti changed their name to Eddie_

 _RICHie changed Eddie's name to Eds_

 _Eds changed their name to kraspisBACK_

 _RICHie changed kraspisBACK's name to Love of my life_

 _Love of my life changed their name to I Hate Richie_

 _RICHie changed I Hate Richie's name to Love of my life_

 _Love of my life changed their name to eddie_

 _RICHie changed eddie's name to Love of my life_

 **Love of my life:** richie, i stg

 **RICHie:** I cant help it **!** ur just too cute eds

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** guyssss

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** i'm in class and i think my teacher is gonna murder me

 **Big Ben:** same

 **Home Boy:** so homeschool is lit

 **Queen B:** richi headed back now

 **Love of my life:** thank god

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** eddie missed richie

 **Queen B:** be still, my heart

 **Love of my life:** no. he cant text and walk

 **RICHie:** you uindersetimateb em

 **Love of my life:** point proven

 **Queen B:** he nearly walked into a pole

 **Love of my life:** point proven 2.0

 **RICHie:** bec dint expise em liek hata

 **Love of my life:** is he high too

 **Queen B:** I don't think so

 **Queen B:** I mean, we just had normal cigs

 **Love of my life:** Richie! You said you'd quit!

 **RICHie:** i wahs goibh too

 **RICHie:** old habots die hard

 **Stan:** that sentence was mostly legible.

 **Queen B:** we stopped at a light

 **Queen B:** he just is normally bad at typing

 **RICHie:** I am attacked

 **Queen B:** we are here!

 **Big Ben:** and just in time for lunch!

 **Friday, 3:33 p.m.**

 _Elusive Eddie -Best Bill_

 **Elusive Eddie:** he only smokes when he's really stressed

 **Elusive Eddie:** I'm worried

 **Best Bill:** did he say anything when you guys walked home?

 **Elusive Eddie:** no. he was really quiet

 **Elusive Eddie:** something's up

 **Best Bill:** you don't know that for sure

 **Elusive Eddie:** he's been way too quiet

 **Elusive Eddie:** a total of one your mom joke all of lunch time

 **Elusive Eddie:** one!

 **Elusive Eddie:** and he barely said anything to me the whole walk home

 **Best Bill:** just talk to him

 **Best Bill:** it's probably another one of your misunderstandings where Richie is sick and doesn't say anything to you because you'll flip out

 **Elusive Eddie:** okay. I will.

 **Friday, 3:56 p.m.**

 _Eds - Trashmouth_

 **Eds:** what's wrong?

 **Eds:** are you sick again?

 **Eds:** I'll come over

 **Eds:** you know I will

 **Eds:** I really don't care about ur germs

 **Friday, 4:12 p.m.**

 _Elusive Eddie - Best Bill_

 **Elusive Eddie:** ( )

 **Best Bill** : okay so that's odd

 **Elusive Eddie:** I think he's mad at me

 **Best Bill:** I'll talk to him tonight, but I have to drive Georgie to a friends right now

 **Elusive Eddie:** thanks Bill you're the best

 **Friday, 4:25 p.m.**

 _Smoking Buds_

 **Bevus:** avoiding him isn't going to solve your problem you know

 **Richus:** I just cant deal with it

 **Richus:** he'll be so worried

 **Richus:** I don't want him to be worried

 **Bevus:** ur probs freaking him out rn tho

 **Bevus:** you know how he gets

 **Richus:** I'll tell him tomorrow

 **Bevus:** for the record, I think you should tell him tonight

 **Bevus:** and at least stop avoiding his texts

 **Richus:** how'd u kno

 **Bevus:** I've known u both for forever

 **Richus:** ok

 **Richus:** I'll respond

 **Friday, 4:31 p.m.**

 _Trashmouth- Eds_

 **Trashmouth:** im not sick

 **Trashmouth:** dont worry ur pretty head

 **Friday 6:54 p.m**

 _Richie's Wholesome Chat_

 **Big Ben:** anyone do the chem?

 **RICHie:** ( )

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** I always forget abt our resident nerd

 **RICHie:** how could ya forget abt me billiam

 **Love of my life:** good question

 **Queen B:** aw Eddie 3

 **Love of my life:** he's so loud

 **Queen B:** aw Eddie /3

 **Big Ben:** thanks rich

 **RICHie:** anytime benny boy

 **Home Boy:** why hasn't eddie tried to change his name yet

 **RICHie:** he's trying to tell us something

 **Love of my life:** youre right, i am tyhe love of my life

 **RICHie:** ur the love of mine too

 _Love of my life changed their name to Eddie_

 _RICHie changed Eddie's name to Eds_

 _Eds changed RICHie's name to Beep beep_

 **Stan:** fitting

 **Beep beep:** almost as fitting as ur mom and i ;)

 **Stan:** as I said.

 _Eds changed their name to Not Eds_

 **Not Eds:** i feel as tho this speaks to a certain somone

 **Beep beep:** me?

 **Beep beep:** im honored

 **Queen B:** i'll just bet

 _Smoking Buds_

 **Richus:** dont expose me

 **Bevus:** like you don't do that to your self anywyas

 **Richus:** I resent that

 _Richie's Wholesome Chat_

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** who wants to beat up some small children?

 **Beep beep:** what has happened to mom

 **Big Ben:** ^

 **Stan:** Bill, are you alright?

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** no

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** some kids were mean to Georgie

 **Queen B:** who do we have to fight

 **Beep beep:** name and address right now

 **Not Eds:** let me go find my weapons

 **Home Boy:** I have sheep shears

 **Stan:** no one is allowed to attack our Georgie!

 **Beep beep:** i can come over rn

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** georgie is happy for the support but doesnt want us to kill anyone

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** he does want to see you guys

 **Queen B:** im omw

 **Home Boy:** leaving now

 **Stan:** I'm already there.

 **Beep beep:** actually

 **Stan:** no.

 **Beep beep:** aw too bad

 **Beep beep:** im always ready for some gay action from Stanathen and biliam

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** beep beep rich

 **Queen B:** that name is really fitting

 **Beep beep:** ah well me n eds can make up for it

 **Not Eds:** stfu

 **Not Eds:** and don't call me that heathen

 **Beep beep:** u wound me

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** georgie is waiting…

 **RICHie:** im already there sike

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** what

 **Beep beep:** I happened to be driving towards ur house

 **Not Eds:** how many times to have to tell you to not text and drive

 **Beep beep:** a wee more id say

 **Stan:** that really is not a good habit, you know.

 **Beep beep:** ok ok

 **Queen B:** im here now too

 **Queen B:** to see my precious child

 **Beep beep:** ha be better losers

 **Home Boy:** I feel attacked…

 **Big Ben:** me too

 **Friday, 9:56 p.m**

 _Richie's Wholesome Chat_

 **Queen B:** ( )

 **Beep beep:** damn who is that gorgeous hunk on the left

 **Beep beep:** oh wait

 **Beep beep:** that's me

 **Not Eds:** shut tf up

 **Beep beep:** aww I wasn't dinijsd

 **Queen B:** dinijsd

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** dinijsd

 **Home Boy:** dinijsd

 **Big Ben:** dinijsd

 **Beep beep:** I feel attacked

 **Not Eds:** good

 **Beep beep:** /3

 **Beep beep:** how could U betray me like this Eds

 **Beep beep:** when all I give u is love

 **Not Eds:** don't call me that you idiot

 _Smoking Buds_

 **Bevus:** gayyyyy

 **Richus:** no kidding bevvt bio

 **Bevus:** bevvt bio?

 **Bevus:** lol nerd

 **Richus:** u know it babe

 **Bevus:** not ur babe babe

 **Richus:** /3

 **Bevus:** but speaking of which

 **Bevus:** have u told him?

 **Richus:** …

 **Bevus:** Richie!

 **Richus:** I will! Eventually..

 **Bevus:** I know you don't want him to be all Eddie and worry about you

 **Richus:** I'll text him

 _Trashmouth-Eds_

 **Trashmouth:** I'm sorry I've been acting odd all day

 **Trashmouth:** my dad is coming back home

 **Eds:** Richie…

 **Trashmouth:** I know I should have told you but I don't want you to worry about me

 **Eds:** Richie…

 **Eds:** I only worry about you because I care about you

 **Eds:** my window is always unlocked

 **Richie:** thanks

 _Elusive Eddie- Best Bill_

 **Elusive Eddie:** his dad is coming back

 **Best Bill:** oh no

 **Elusive Eddie:** bill I'm not sure _I_ can handle his dad coming back

 **Elusive Eddie:** having him fall through my window at 3 a.m. all bruised up and eyes red from crying on the way over

 **Elusive Eddie:** saying everything is fine and that he just wanted to see me

 **Best Bill:** I know

 **Best Bill:** why do you think we have sleepovers so often when his dad is in town

 **Elusive Eddie:** I know. Thanks for doing that

 **Elusive Eddie:** it kills me to know he's not safe at home

 **Elusive Eddie:** it's like glass being shoved into my heart

 **Elusive Eddie:** I swear

 _Smoking Buds_

 **Richus:** I told him

 **Bevus:** how'd he take it?

 **Richus:** not too well

 **Richus:** I'd bet anything he's talking to big bill about it right now

 **Bevus:** when are you going to get it through your head that we all love our resident trashmouth?

 **Richus:** it's kinda hard to believe

 **Bevus:** /3

 **Saturday, 12:32 a.m.**

 _Beverly Marsh created_ _ **Love For Richie**_

 _Beverly Marsh added Eddie Kraspbrak, Bill Denbrough, Stanley Uris, Mike Hanlon, and Ben Hanscom_

 **Beverly Marsh:** ( )

 **Beverly Marsh:** ok so this happened /3

 **Bill Denbrough:** oh no

 **Stanley Uris:** I apologize.

 **Beverly Marsh:** it's not just your fault Stan, we all could stand to be a little nicer to Richie. It's easy to forget what with all the mom jokes.

 **Eddie Kraspbrak:** I'll talk to him tomorrow

 **Beverly Marsh:** thanks Eddie

 **Beverly Marsh:** and goodnight everyone

 **Saturday, 9:22 a.m.**

 _Love for Richie_

 **Ben Hanscom:** we should do something for him

 **Mike Hanlon:** I agree

 **Eddie Kraspbrak:** like what?

 **Eddie Kraspbrak:** he doesn't like being pitied

 **Beverly Marsh:** why are you guys awake

 **Beverly Marsh:** but yeah, maybe not

 **Beverly Marsh:** he does hate being pitied

 _Richie's Wholesome Chat_

 **Queen B:** barrens anyone?

 **Not Eds:** I'm in

 **Beep beep:** if my dearest Eddie Spaghetti is going so am I

 **Big Ben:** cool it'll be a double date

 **Queen B:** Ben akdhdkjcsn

 **Not Eds:** in his dreams

 **Beep beep:** you know it

 _Smoking Buds_

 **Bevus:** gayyy

 **Richus:** shut

 _Richie's Wholesome Chat_

 **Home Boy:** sorry to be the fifth wheel but I'll come

 **Stan:** I'll be there as well.

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** as will I

 **Queen B:** partayyyyy

 **Beep beep:** see all you losers there

 _Trashmouth-Eds_

 **Trashmouth:** want a ride?

 **Eds:** yes please

 _Love for Richie_

 **Beverly Marsh:** there we go

 **Eddie Kraspbrak:** gj bev

 **Bill Denbrough:** that was a good idea Bev

 **Beverly Marsh:** thanks

 **Beverly Marsh:** and also

 _Beverly Marsh changed their name to Bell Bev Devoe_

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** while we aren't being very very serious

 _Eddie Kraspbrak changed their name to Not Eds_

 _Bell Bev Devoe changed Not Eds's name to Richie's Lover_

 _Richie's Lover changed their name to Eddie_

 **Eddie:** I will attack

 **Eddie:** don't think I won't

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** I just state the truth

 **Stanley Uris:** none of you better be driving!

 **Eddie:** I'm not Richie's driving me

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** awww 3

 **Eddie:** shut

 **Bill Denbrough:** anyone else need a ride?

 **Stanley Uris:** I could use one.

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** me too

 **Ben Hanscom:** me as well

 **Mike Hanlon:** see you all there

 **Saturday 4:30 p.m.**

 _Richie's Wholesome Chat_

 **Queen B:** we are all meeting at Bill's

 **Big Ben:** bad movie night?

 **Beep beep:** hell ya

 **Not Eds:** i love how richies typing is so lazy he seems unenthusiastic

 **Queen B:** or do you just love richie hmmm

 **Beep beep:** of course he loves me

 **Beep beep:** he has to because ya never know when his mom ill cut the crap and just ask me to stay

 **Not Eds:** Beep beep

 **Beep beep:** but in all sincerity

 **Stan:** "in all sincerity" wow, Richie's really breaking out the vocab

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** resiendt nerd showing through again

 _Queen B changed Beep beep's name to Resident nerd_

 **Queen B:** all is well

 **Resident nerd:** is it thjo

 **Not Eds:** he's typing and walking again

 **Queen B:** awww r u guys togtehr

 **Not Eds:** hes my ride

 **Not Eds:** unfortunately

 **Resident nerd:** aww eds yiou liobe ridinfg woth em

 **Not Eds:** no, I don't

 **Not Eds:** and DON'T CALL ME THAT

 **Queen B:** DON'T CALL ME THAT

 **Big Ben:** DON'T CALL ME THAT

 **Queen B:** Ben!

 **Big Ben:** Bev!

 **Queen B:** ily

 **Big Ben:** ily2

 **Not Eds:** no one loves me in this caht

 **Resident Nerd:** awww Eds I love you

 **Not Eds:** shut up and drive

 **Queen B:** my mood is Eddie texting Richie to shut up when they are literally sitting right next to each other

 **Big Ben:** kids these days

 **Not Eds:** speakig of which, where is mom

 **Queen B:** he's driving

 **Big Ben:** and Stan's next to him in the front seat

 **Queen B:** Ben n I love or double dates

 **Big Ben:** they're the best

 **Not Eds:** I'm enjoying my time without Richie

 **Queen B:** Eddie… he's literally sitting right next to you

 **Not Eds:** shhhhhh

 **Big Ben:** yeah aren't you talking to him right now

 **Not Eds:** SHHHHHHH

 **Queen B:** that was surpringly aggressive

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** Eddie stop texting and get to my house

 **Not Eds:** I'm not driving!

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** ur point?

 **Not Eds:** …

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** that's what I thought

 **Sunday 9:23 a.m.**

 _Richie's Wholesome Chat_

 **Home Boy:** I've been up for three hours…

 _Birdy and Sheepy_

 **Stanlee:** I'm up too, but Bill is sleeping on my stomach and I don't want to wake him up.

 **Mic:** want to rant?

 **Stanlee:** this boy will be the death of me.

 **Mic:** that was it

 **Stanlee:** it's too early to rant!

 **Stanlee:** Richie is up too, but he's stroking Eddie's hair and being generally an in love fool.

 **Stanlee:** those two, I swear.

 **Mic:** hypocrite

 **Stanlee:** I meant it in a why can't they both see they're in love with each other way.

 **Mic:** …

 **Mic:** wow.

 **Stanlee:** he's just thinks of me as a friend, Mike! And anyways, he's straight.

 **Mic:** I'm not sure if you've heard of it, but there is this thing called being bisexual

 **Stanlee:** too early Michael!

 **Mic:** it's nearly 10!

 **Stanlee:** your point?

 **Mic:** fine. No sass until after lunch, but only because you're my best friend and I love you

 **Stanlee:** thanks

 **Stanlee:** oh boy, I think Richie is going to wake up Eddie, you'd better come back.

 **Sunday 4:47 p.m.**

 _Richie's Wholesome Chat_

 **Not Eds:** Richie I will murder you

 **Home Boy:** no not again

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** what did he do now

 **Not Eds:** he walked up to my door with a cake for my mom's birthday tomorrow

 **Big Ben:** what's the problem with that?

 **Not Eds:** my mom opened the door, saw Richie and the cake, and assumed it was full of drugs, alcohol or both, and now I'm under house arrest

 **Not Eds:** all thanks to trashmouth and his stupid cake

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** wow

 **Stan:** your mother is crazy Eddie, that's not really Richie's fault.

 **Home Boy:** stan the man with the reasoning

 **Not Eds:** but she has a fair point, I mean, who knows what Richie would put in a cake

 _Smoking Buds_

 **Bevus:** hey rich, r u ok?

 **Richus:** I'm fine

 **Bevus:** are you home? I'm coming over

 **Richus:** my dad got back about an hour ago

 **Bevus:** I had a abusive dad too, remember?

 **Bevus:** I can deal with it

 **Richus:** I don't want you to get hurt

 **Bevus:** he drunk?

 **Richus:** yeah

 **Richus:** mom is too

 **Richus:** the only way they can stand each other's presence is drunk

 **Bevus:** Richie…

 **Richus:** they just can't stand me at all

 **Bevus:** Richie where are you?

 **Richus:** I told you

 **Richus:** at home

 **Bevus:** I see you up there on the roof

 **Bevus:** I'm climbing up

 **Sunday 9:12 p.m.**

 _Love for Richie_

 _Bell Bev Devoe removed Eddie from this conversation_

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** so I just got back from Richie's house

 **Ben Hanscom:** I was wondering where you were

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** yeah sorry I didn't answer your calls benjamine

 **Stanley Uris:** Benjamine?

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** like benjamin, except hes mine so it's benjaMINE

 **Mike Hanlon:** anyways what happened and why did you remove eddie

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** well as I'm sure you habe all noticed, eddie and richie are two gay idiots who are in love

 **Bill Denbrough:** i can confirm this

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** but also

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** richies dad came back today

 **Ben Hanscom:** so soon?

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** apparently

 **Bill Denbrough:** oh no

 **Mike Hanlon:** how's he doing

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** not well

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** and the thing with eddie and the cake did NOT help

 **Bill Denbrough:** want me to talk to eddie

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** only if eddie brings something up first

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** and you heard nothing from me

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** richie didnt even wanr to tell me

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** and he tells me everything

 **Bill Denbrough:** ofc

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** also, idk if any of u know this but richie doesnt drink or do drugd bc of his parents, cept for weed sometimes. He was really sad that eddie would think he did

 **Ben Hanscom:** wait really

 **Mike Hanlon:** I had always wondered

 **Stanley Uris:** I feel really bad.

 **Bill Denbrough:** no, stan ur fine

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** hes right, richie wasnt upset bc of anything u said

 **Stanley Uris:** I could still stand to be nicer, though, after all I've known Richie for forever.

 **Mike Hanlon:** its hard to do when hes always being annoying, but that's why we love him

 **Ben Hanscom:** mom jokes and all

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** OMG u guys are so sweet when u wnat to be

 **Bill Denbrough:** what can we say? The world wud be a darker place without our trashmouth

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** preach

 **Stanley Uris:** well, I'm sorry to leave in the middle of such an intense discussion, but I have a pysch test tomorrow.

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** no ur fine

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** we can talk more tomorrow if we need

 **Bill Denbrough:** okay

 **Ben Hanscom:** good night, everyone! Sweet dreams!

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** soft ben 3

 _Ben Hanscom changed their name to Haystack_

 **Haystack:** in honor of richie

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** softer ben 3

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** I have the best bf ever! 3

 **Monday 7:03 a.m.**

 _Richie's Wholesome Chat_

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** everyone ready for hell

 **Big Ben:** It's not that bad

 **Stan:** I have a psych test.

 **Big Ben:** ha nerd

 **Queen B:** Ben...you're in AP psych too

 **Big Ben:** block schedule

 **Resident Nerd:** ha nerds I have three AP tests today

 **Home Boy:** homeschool is still lit...

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** how does richie never go to class and still get better grades than all of us

 **Resident Nerd:** I do go to class

 **Queen B:** why do they all always have tests at the same time

 **Not Eds:** to kill us

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** good luck losers

 **Resident Nerd:** thanks billy boy

 **Monday 12:07 p.m.**

 _Eds-Trashmouth_

 **Eds:** why aren't you and Bev at lunch?

 _Edison-Beaverly_

 **Edison:** why aren't you and Richie at lunch?

 **Monday 4:46 p.m.**

 _Elusive Eddie-Best Bill_

 **Elusive Eddie:** Bill what is happening

 **Elusive Eddie:** why weren't Bev and Richie at lunch

 **Elusive Eddie:** why are all of you acting weird

 **Elusive Eddie:** why is nothing happening in the gc

 **Best Bill:** you know Richie doesn't do drugs, right?

 **Elusive Eddie:** what. Where did that come from?

 **Elusive Eddie:** Bill what's happening? I'm scared

 _Love for Richie_

 **Bill Denbrough:** help!

 **Bill Denbrough:** ( )

 **Bill Denbrough:** what do I say?!

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** idk!

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** don't answer?

 _Eddie Kraspbrak- Ben Hanscom_

 **Eddie Kraspbrak:** Ben what's happening

 **Eddie Kraspbrak:** please tell me

 **Eddie Kraspbrak:** I know you know because you've been avoiding me all day

 **Eddie Kraspbrak:** and you only do that when you're keeping a secret because you're terrible at keeping secrets

Love for Richie

 **Haystack:** help!

 **Haystack:** ( )

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** no worries.

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** I'm coming over Benjamine. Just a little earlier than planned.

 **Haystack:** but I can't just leave him without responding

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** just blame me

 _Ben Hanscom-Eddie Kraspbrak_

 **Ben Hanscom:** okay fine.

 **Eddie Kraspbrak:** finally!

 **Ben Hanscom:** I went out last night and bought Bev a really pretty bracelet for our anniversary. I've been saving up for it for forever.

 **Ben Hanscom:** but don't tell her!

 **Ben Hanscom:** I've struggled to keep it a secret this long

 **Ben Hanscom:** she's coming over right now though

 **Ben Hanscom:** so I'll give it to her tonight

 **Eddie Kraspbrak:** that's what's been happening?

 **Ben Hanscom:** that's my secret

 **Eddie Kraspbrak:** well good for you Ben!

 **Eddie Kraspbrak:** ill leave you alone now

 _Love for Richie_

 **Haystack:** crisis averted

 **Haystack:** I think

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** what'd you tell him

 **Haystack:** I'll tel you tonight

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** okay

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** mike?

 **Mike Hanlon:** you called?

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** say something in the group chat

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** Eddie didn't see you today so if you act innocent maybe it'll throw him off for a bit

 **Mike Hanlon:** will do

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** and bill?

 **Bill Denbrough:** yes?

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** get Eddie to figure out he has to apologize without telling him

 **Bill Denbrough:** I'll do my best

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** stan, that leaves you to watch over Richie.

 **Stanley Uris:** how do I do that?

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** ask for help with homework or something!

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** idk! I'll be gone for 3 hours. Don't let everything go to hell.

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** Got it?

 **Bill Denbrough:** I'll try

 **Bill Denbrough:** you two have fun on your date

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** thanks mom

 **Haystack:** tahnks bill

 _Richie's Wholesome Chat_

 **Home Boy:** so how'd the test go stan?

 **Stan:** not too badly

 **Home Boy:** that's good

 **Home Boy:** the group chat is quiet tonight

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** it's because benverly is out on a date

 **Home Boy:** Ah

 **Home Boy:** the things you miss when being homeschooled

 **Stan:** anyone know how to do this APUSH homework?

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** phhh no clue

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** resident Nerd

 **Stan:** oh yeah.

 _First Friends_

 **Jew:** seriously Rich.

 **Jew:** how do I do this homework?

 **Four Eyes:** I can send u it if ya want

 **Jew:** you know me.

 **Four Eyes:** okay so no cheating

 **Four Eyes:** it's hard to explain over text

 **Jew:** you can come over.

 **Jew:** my mom misses you anyways.

 **Four Eyes:** ah she hasn't gotten enough of my sweet sweet lovin

 **Jew:** I left myself open for that one.

 **Four Eyes:** haha

 **Jew:** but actually. She just made some cookies too.

 **Four Eyes:** you had me at your mom

 **Jew:** I hate you.

 **Four Eyes:** nah you love me

 **Jew:** possibly.

 **Jew:** depends on if you come over here and help me with this impossible APUSH homework!

 **Four Eyes:** On my way!

 **Four Eyes:** get bill and mike down here too

 **Four Eyes:** otherwise I'll just have to help them later

 **Jew:** will do.

 _Stanley Uris created_ _ **Homework Club**_

 _Stanley Uris added Bill Denbrough, Stanley Uris, Mike Hanlon, and Richie Tozier_

 **Stanley Uris:** Richie has kindly offered to help us out with the terrible APUSH homework. Meet at my house.

 **Mike Hanlon:** but I'm not in APUSH

 **Richie Tozier:** I am aware

 **Richie Tozier:** but didn't you say you were going to actually go to school next year

 **Richie Tozier:** might as well get a sense for what's coming

 **Mike Hanlon:** fair enough

 **Bill Denbrough:** can I bring Georgie? I'm supposed to be watching him

 **Stanley Uris:** of course!

 **Richie Tozier:** ahdndbsjsbdhj yes!

 **Mike Hanlon:** did I seem reluctant before? I meant of course I'll be there!

 **Bill Denbrough:** awesome

 _Richie Tozier changed their name to Teacher_

 _Teacher changed Mike Hanlon's name to Mikey_

 _Teacher changed Bill Denbrough's name to Billy_

 _Teacher changed Stanley Uris's name to Stanny_

 **Stanny:** I would fight...but I really need help.

 **Mikey:** my mood is stan being so confused that he doesn't even want to argue with Richie

 **Stanny:** When you take APUSH you'll understand

 **Teacher:** no worries, Stanny, your knight in shining armor is here

 **Billy:** and so am I

 **Teacher:** Georgie!

 **Monday 9:14 p.m.**

 _Richie's Wholesome Chat_

 **Home Boy:** I take it back

 **Home Boy:** I never want to leave homeschool

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** we warned you

 **Not Eds:** what happened

 _Love for Richie_

 **Mike Hanlon:** yikes that was the wrong chat

 **Mike Hanlon:** I meant it for the homework one

 **Bill Denbrough:** I was wondering what you were doing

 **Bill Denbrough:** just tell him the truth

 **Bill Denbrough:** maybe Eddie will figure it out

 **Bill Denbrough:** Bev wya? We need help!

 **Mike Hanlon:** yeah it's been way more than 3 hrs

 **Mike Hanlon:** yikes guys

 _Richie's Wholesome Chat_

 **Home Boy:** I was at Stan's with Bill and Richie

 **Home Boy:** doing their APUSH homework

 **Home Boy:** and YIKES

 **Big Ben:** it's the worst right?

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** Ben! You're back!

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** how was the date?

 **Home Boy:** does this mean Bev is back?

 **Home Boy:** bev I need help

 **Not Eds:** with what?

 **Home Boy:** I need a woman's advice

 **Queen B:** yes I'm back

 **Queen B:** gimme a sec to look through the crap ton of messages I have

 **Big Ben:** I think the date went wel

 **Resident Nerd:** heteros

 **Home Boy:** i ship it

 **Resident Nerd:** says the other hetero

 **Home Boy:** actually

 **Big Ben:** not you too?

 **Big Ben:** how is it that the like 5 gays in Derry are all in one group chat?

 **Resident Nerd:** andksmsikabdb Ben

 _Resident Nerd changed the name of this conversation to Derry Gays_

 **Big Ben:** wait but are you guys actually all gay?

 **Big Ben:** I've always just kind of assumed

 **Queen B:** jwsahdjwksbd Ben

 **Queen B:** I have a lot to respond to but this is interesting

 **Queen B:** I'll start.

 **Queen B:** I'm Hetero and proud

 **Big Ben:** same!

 **Queen B:** ily!

 **Big Ben:** ily2!

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** I'm bi guys

 _Birdy and Sheepy_

 **Mic:** told you!

 **Stanlee:** okay, fine.

 _Derry Gays_

 **Queen B:** I'm so proud!

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** of me being bi?

 **Queen B:** yes!

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** why?

 **Queen B:** because I am don't question the logic

 **Home Boy:** well if we're all coming out I might as well say something

 **Home Boy:** I was going to say this later when I was more sure, but I think I'm asexual

 **Resident Nerd:** actually?

 **Home Boy:** I'm pretty sure

 **Resident Nerd:** lucky

 **Resident Nerd:** I know this comes as a surprise, but I'm gay

 **Queen B:** we know rich.

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** yeah all those nights of you ranting about the male leads in movies weren't a dead giveaway or anything

 **Queen B:** or the skinny jeans with holes in them, the occasional use of black eyeshadow, the leather jackets with tiny pride flags sewn on the pockets, and the fact that you exclusively listen to My My My! By Troye Sivan

 **Resident Nerd:** the number of things I'd let Troye Sivan do to me is infinite

 **Stan:** I was waiting for a response from someone but I didn't get one so please someone else say something

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** beep beep trashmouth

 **Resident Nerd:** ah just trying to make my favorite Eds jealous

 **Resident Nerd:** but he's MIA it seems

 **Resident Nerd:** and I'm actually not really kidding about Troye Sivan

 **Big Ben:** ok moving on

 _Smoking Buds_

 **Bevus:** you doing okay?

 **Richus:** Bev everyone already knew I was gay, like you said

 **Bevus:** that wasn't what I was talking about. I was talking about your dad.

 **Richus:** I'm fine

 **Richus:** I was at stans

 **Bevus:** okay

 _Derry Gays_

 **Queen B:** who's next?

 **Stan:** I suppose it's probably me.

 **Stan:** I'm also gay.

 **Resident Nerd:** gay buddies!

 **Stan:** no. I'm not going to listen to any Troye Sivan.

 **Resident Nerd:** /3

 **Stan:** FINE.

 **Resident Nerd:**!

 **Resident Nerd:** stans being so nice today

 **Stan:** am I? That was a mistake.

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** Stan wjkaksbvsj

 **Big Ben:** the keyboard smashes are getting uglier and uglier

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** /3

 **Stan:** your keyboard smash served it's point Bill, no worries.

 **Stan:** even if it was pretty ugly.

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** I'm insulted? I think?

 **Queen B:** stay on topic guys!

 **Queen B:** I have other things to do

 **Home Boy:** ya respond to the other messages

 **Queen B:** who's left?

 **Home Boy:** just Eddie I think.

 **Home Boy:** but he hasn't responded for a while

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** his mom probably took his phone away

 **Big Ben:** I was waiting for Richie to make a your mom joke but it never came

 _Smoking Buds_

 **Bevus:** Rich?

 **Richus:** I'm fine bevvy boo

 **Richus:** no worries

 **Bevus:** want me to come over?

 **Richus:** nah imma just pretend to be asleep

 **Bevus:** okay…

 **Bevus:** we're all here for you you know

 **Bevus:** even Eddie

 **Bevus:** you have to stop shutting him out. He doesn't know what's happening and he'd never intentionally hurt you. I promise. Keep in mind how much his mom tries to brain wash him.

 **Richus:** I try!

 **Richus:** it's just so hard

 **Richus:** my parents are homophobic abusive alcoholics Bev

 **Bevus:** you want to come over? My aunt isn't home

 **Richus:** sure

 **Bevus:** good.

 _Love For Richie_

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** okay

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** bill talk to Eddie in the morning

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** mike good job with task one

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** your slip up is OK because like Bill said maybe Eddie will figure out something is up

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** stan gets the gold medal for a part played to perfection. You were nice to him but still managed to be the same old stan. Which is good because otherwise he'd think you were pitying him.

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** you guys are pretty awesome friends

 **Haystack:** ( )

 **Haystack:** that's what I told Eddie

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** aww Ben 3

 **Mike Hanlon:** let's hope Eddie and Richie figure it out

 **Bill Denbrough:** they will

 **Stanley Uris:** and now we should all go to bed.

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** fair enough

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** night

 **Bill Denbrough:** goodnight

 **Stanley Uris:** goodnight.

 **Mike Hanlon:** good night

 **Haystack:** good night everyone!

 _Couple Goals_

 **January Embers:** I invited Richie to stay the night jsyk

 **Benjamine:** I'm glad!

 **Benjamine:** I want him to be safe!

 **January Embers:** I didn't think you'd mind but I just wanted to tell you

 **Benjamine:** I trust you Bev

 **Benjamine:** and he's also really hopelessly in love with Eddie

 **Benjamine:** and gay

 **January Embers:** all these are fair points

 **January Embers:** but you forgot one

 **January Embers:** I love you and only you Benjamine

 **Benjamine:** I love you and only you Beverly

 **January Embers:** goodnight! See you tomorrow 3

 **Benjamine:** see you tomorrow! Sleep well! 3

 **Tuesday 6:59 a.m.**

 _Derry Gays_

 **Big Ben:** ughhhhhhh I have the pysch test today

 **Stan:** don't worry it wasn't that hard

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** you'll do great Ben don't worry

 _Best Bill-Elusive Eddie_

 **Best Bill:** talk to Richie today

 **Best Bill:** it's always awkward when you guys are fighting

 **Elusive Eddie:** we're not fighting!

 **Best Bill:** you're avoiding each other

 **Best Bill:** it's the same thing

 **Best Bill:** he's always on edge when his dad is in town. You HAVE to be there for him Eddie. I'm going to say it again and you won't believe me again, but Richie loves you Eddie. He's always on the edge of a knife when his dad is in town, and Bev can only do so much. You have to apologize. Please!

 **Elusive Eddie:** I don't even know what I've done!

 **Best Bill:** me either.

 **Elusive Eddie:** what am I supposed to do?

 **Best Bill:** I have no idea, but as long as it's genuine I'm sure it's fine

 _Bill Denbrough-Beverly Marsh_

 **Bill Denbrough:** ( )

 **Bill Denbrough:** is that good?

 **Beverly Marsh:** should be. I talked to Richie last night. Now it's up to them.

 **Tuesday 7:43 a.m.**

 _Derry Gays_

 **Big Ben:** Bev and Richie wya

 **Queen B:** we're nearly there

 **Queen B:** someone likes to sleep in

 **Resident Nerd:** in my defense, I live closer to school than you so I just got up at my normal time.

 **Queen B:** sure sure

 **Queen B:** we had to take the bus :(

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** oh my

 **Queen B:** I know :(

 **Resident Nerd:** that wasn't my fault

 **Queen B:** okay fine

 **Queen B:** we had to take the late bus

 **Resident Nerd:** that was my fault

 **Stan:** the bell is ringing where are you guys?

 **Queen B:** this stupid bus driver isn't familiar with a gas pedal

 **Queen B:** dang we should have just ditched

 **Big Ben:** I'd miss u tho

 **Queen B:** awww Ben

 **Queen B:** I love you

 **Big Ben:** I love you!

 **Not Eds:** ugh heteros

 **Queen B:** excuse me

 **Queen B:** we're the only two who have actually managed to fess up

 **Big Ben:** the rest of you better get your act together

 **Home Boy:** …

 **Big Ben:** except Mike ofc

 **Home Boy:** thank you

 _Love for Richie_

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** Richie and Eddie should hopefully sort out their problem today

 **Mike Hanlon:** thank lord

 **Bill Denbrough:** Bev and I both talked to the stupid gay children last night

 **Stanley Uris:** excuse?

 **Bill Denbrough:** you're not stupid

 **Bill Denbrough:** therefore I wasn't referring to you

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** 3

 **Bill Denbrough:** shut

 **Bill Denbrough:** why does Richie ever talk to you anyways

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** shut

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** I'm a great confidante

 **Stanley Uris:** sure.

 **Bill Denbrough:** oh yeah Bev we all believe that

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** excuse?

 **Mike Hanlon:** shouldn't you guys be in class?

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** nah fam

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** richie and I literally just got here

 **Haystack:** actually?

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** yeah

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** like I said the bus driver was sh*t

 **Haystack:** why'd you go to all the trouble of censoring that

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** don't question the kochi

 **Bill Denbrough:** wth is a kochi

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** asikakzds

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** *logic

 **Stanley Uris:** these keyboard smashes are getting uglier and uglier.

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** I am attacked ™

 **Haystack:** how did you do that

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** do what?

 **Bill Denbrough:** stop texting we actually have to go to class now

 _Bell Bev Devoe changed Bill Denbrough's name to_ _Mommy Dearest_

 **Haystack:** ok I'll stop. Good luck in class guys!

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** thanks Benny Bear!

 **Tuesday 12:13 p.m.**

 _Love for Richie_

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** this is for Mike's benefit, but there are two suspiciously empty seats at lunch today

 **Mike Hanlon:**!

 **Haystack:** hopefully they'll stop this fighting nonsense

 **Mommy Dearest:** I hope so too

 _Best Bill-Elusive Eddie_

 **Best Bill:** I hope the reason you and Richie are not at lunch is because you are working things out

 **Tuesday 4:41 p.m.**

 _Elusive Eddie-Best Bill_

 **Elusive Eddie:** no worries big bill

 **Elusive Eddie:** I think Richie and I will be alright

 **Best Bill:** hallelujah

 _Love for Richie_

 **Mommy Dearest:** they worked it out

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** I know

 **Mommy Dearest:** you knew?

 **Mommy Dearest:** and didn't bother to ell us?

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** we all knew Bill?

 **Stanley Uris:** did Bill not know?

 **Haystack:** wait!

 **Haystack:** bill wasn't there after school!

 **Mike Hanlon:** how was he not there?

 **Mike Hanlon:** _I_ was there

 **Mommy Dearest:** what?!

 **Stanley Uris:** they went home together.

 **Mommy Dearest:** thank gid

 **Stanley Uris:** Bill :(

 **Mommy Dearest:** what did I do

 **Stanley Uris:** all the typos. :(

 **Mommy Dearest:** everyone makes mistakes stanathen

 **Stanley Uris:** not me.

 **Mommy Dearest:** not everyone can be perfect :(

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** awww bill called stan perfect 3

 **Haystack:** I am waiting for the denial

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** there is no denial!

 **Haystack:** and the chat went strangely silent

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** we've done a great job getting our fav couples todetjer

 **Haystack:** indeed

 **Mike Hanlon:** I claim partial responsibility

 **Haystack:** bill and Stan wya

 **Mommy Dearest:** I'm here

 **Stanley Uris:** me too

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** do we think Reddie is a thing now?

 **Mommy Dearest:** I hope so

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** me too

 **Mike Hanlon:** is Still a thing?

 **Mike Hanlon:** or is it Billey or Urbrough or Deris

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** mike.

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** it's stenbrough

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** obviously

 **Mike Hanlon:** oh

 **Haystack:** no denial!

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** we missed something

 _Derry Gays_

 **Queen B:** does anyone know if stenbrough is officially a thing?

 **Resident Nerd:** no idea

 **Not Eds:** what's changed since yesterday?

 **Queen B:** I'm not sure

 **Big Ben:** they still aren't denying it!

 **Queen B:** we might have two official couples in the losers club

 **Home Boy:** don't you mean 3

 **Not Eds:** as if

 **Resident Nerd:** you wound me

 **Queen B:** saving Reddie for another day

 **Queen B:** stan bill

 **Stan:** hello.

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** hello

 **Home Boy:** they've finally admitted their feelings

 **Stan:** says who exactly?

 **Queen B:** yeah mike

 _Birdy and Sheepy_

 **Mic:** ( )

 **Mic:** I'm giving you the opportunity

 **Mic:** but I have proof

 **Stanlee:** how.

 **Mic:** maybe don't plan your dates right outside my house

 **Stanlee:** it's not right outside your house and it's not a date.

 **Mic:** wrong and wrong

 **Stanlee:** ok so it's close to your house.

 **Stanlee:** but we were only bird watching.

 **Mic:** I'll keep your secret Stan

 **Stanlee:** it's not a secret per se.

 **Stanlee:** we just haven't talked things over.

 **Mic:** I'm so happy!

 **Mic:** you need to tell me all the details

 **Stanlee:** first respond to the gc

 _Derry Gays_

 **Home Boy:** the lack of denial

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** you have no proof

 **Stan:** exactly. Right _Michael_?

 **Home Boy:** whatever you say stan

 **Resident Nerd:** so stan is threating Mike right now in a private chat

 **Not Eds:** threating?

 **Resident Nerd:** threatening

 **Resident Nerd:** nobody cares Eds

 **Stan:** I care.

 **Resident Nerd:** stan the man gets off on a good one

 **Not Eds:** so long as the good one is bill I'm sure he's fine with it

 **Big Ben:** when did Eddie turn into Richie

 **Queen B:** good question

 **Big Ben:** so many things are being revealed tonight

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** who wants to have a sleepover this weekend

 **Big Ben:** me

 **Home Boy:** me

 **Stan:** me.

 **Queen B:** oh ya let's do it!

 **Resident Nerd:** me

 **Not Eds:** I'll have to check with my mom

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** awesome

 **Queen B:** let's play spin the bottle

 **Home Boy:** Bev I'm not sure that's a good idea

 **Queen B:** why not? I've already kissed about half o you anywyas

 **Not Eds:** you have?!

 **Queen B:** yup

 **Stan:** bill and Ben obviously but who else? Mike?

 **Queen B:** nope not mike

 **Stan:** but the rest of us are gay

 **Resident Nerd:** I plead guilty

 **Stan:** what.

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** what.

 **Resident Nerd:** I can explain

 **Resident Nerd:** it was the day I told Bev I thought I was gay

 **Stan:** that makes literally no sense

 **Queen B:** he asked me to kiss him because he wanted to be sure he was gay

 **Resident Nerd:** and she kindly obliged

 **Queen B:** so he decided he was definitely gay

 **Home Boy:** you had to have Bev kiss you to figure that out

 **Resident Nerd:** I was already pretty sure, but I wanted to be 100% sure

 **Resident Nerd:** I figured I'd either feel something or I wouldn't

 **Resident Nerd:** and it just felt not right

 **Queen B:** so we determined he was definitely gay

 **Home Boy:** so Bev was three people's first kiss

 **Stan:** wow

 **Resident Nerd:** untrue

 **Resident Nerd:** my first kiss was my one and only….

 **Resident Nerd:** Eds

 **Not Eds:** don't call me that

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** actually

 **Not Eds:** no

 **Resident Nerd:** yes

 **Not Eds:** it doesn't count

 **Resident Nerd:** yes it does

 **Not Eds:** no

 **Resident Nerd:** yes

 **Not Eds:** no

 **Resident Nerd:** yes

 **Not Eds:** no!

 **Resident Nerd:** yes!

 **Queen B:** one of you tell the story

 **Resident Nerd:** so one very fine day when Eddie and I were five ms Sonia Kraspbrak put on a movie called Snow White

 **Not Eds:** and he decided I was dying and he was the prince destined to save me

 **Resident Nerd:** so naturally I kissed him

 **Queen B:** that's the most innocent sweetest thing I've heard all day

 **Queen B:** now we need to hear all these stories

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** you all know mine

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** I kissed Bev in the school play

 **Queen B:** yeah I kissed bill in the school play

 **Not Eds:** well apparently mine was stolen by a 5 year old trashmouth

 **Queen B:** can we all take a moment to imagine mini Richie kissing mini Edie

 **Not Eds:** now you're spelling my name wrong

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** I have a photo of baby Richie and Eddie somewhere

 **Stan:** I know I have some

 **Resident Nerd:** I've known Stan since I was two

 **Stan:** unfortunately

 **Not Eds:** I've known Bill since I was four

 **Resident Nerd:** I met Eddie when I was five

 **Stan:** and we all met in first grade

 **Big Ben:** not kindergarten

 **Stan:** I went to Jewish kindergarten with Richie

 **Home Boy:** Richie you're Jewish?

 **Resident Nerd:** when I was a young child my parents actually cared so we actually went to the synagogue

 **Stan:** that's how we met

 **Resident Nerd:** we got shipped off to the next town over for Jewish kindergarten

 **Not Eds:** Richie and I were put in a summer art club thing together

 **Resident Nerd:** and he was forced to be friends with me because he, like Stan, had no other options

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** Eddie and I went to normal kindergarten together

 **Resident Nerd:** and in first grade I recognized my friend Eddie and introduced Stan

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** and the rest is History

 **Queen B:** wow

 **Big Ben:** the story of the first four :'(

 **Stan:** why was that sad?

 **Big Ben:** it was tear jerkingly beautiful

 **Resident Nerd:** the og coming through

 **Resident Nerd:** remember when we used to actually be able to sleep over at my house

 **Not Eds:** ah the simple life

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** remember Maggie's cookies?

 **Resident Nerd:** oh man those were so good

 **Home Boy:** what made your parents like they are now rich?

 **Home Boy:** if you don't mind me asking

 **Resident Nerd:** I haven't told u guys

 **Big Ben:** nope

 **Resident Nerd:** oh

 **Resident Nerd:** I suppose it all started on my 9th birthday

 **Resident Nerd:** I wanted to go out with my og skwad to the movies

 **Not Eds:** the movie was sold out

 **Resident Nerd:** but the movie had been very popular and was sold out

 **Resident Nerd:** as Eddie said

 **Resident Nerd:** anywyas we had planned going to the movies and then to my fave restaurant

 **Resident Nerd:** but instead we only went to the restaurant

 **Resident Nerd:** that means we got home early

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** can I leave the chat before you tell this next part?

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** it's so sad

 **Queen B:** oh no

 **Resident Nerd:** so we get home to an unfamiliar car in the driveway

 **Queen B:** oh no

 **Resident Nerd:** and maggie knew what was up immediately. She lead me to my room and locked me in

 **Resident Nerd:** I think it was a gesture of protection. She didn't want me to see what was coming and she knew I wouldn't stay put

 **Resident Nerd:** needless to say she caught wentworth with another woman

 **Resident Nerd:** they had a screaming match in the hallway where wentworth said she spent too much of her time on me. She said that I was his kid and he has a duty to me. Then he said he never wanted a kid and she said she didn't either and they both proceeded screaming at each other about how the other had ruined their life

 **Resident Nerd:** at some point I tried to get out, but I was locked in

 **Not Eds:** just before I went to bed that night a crying Richie rung the doorbell

 **Not Eds:** and my mom let him stay the night

 **Resident Nerd:** you know it ;)

 **Not Eds:** can you not for like one minute?

 **Resident Nerd:** no

 **Resident Nerd:** anyways

 **Resident Nerd:** it got worse from there

 **Resident Nerd:** the summer of my tenth year I got shipped off to Indiana to stay with Maggie's older sister for a month so my parents could repair their marriage. Fun fact: one of my cousins looks very similar to me, except 5 years older

 **Resident Nerd:** but when I got home,

Things had only gotten worse

 **Resident Nerd:** and they pretty much only got worse from there

 **Big Ben:** I had no idea you had cousins

 **Home Boy:** that whole story and that's what you decide to comment on

 **Big Ben:** I'd just never thought about it

 **Big Ben:** but I guess it makes sense

 **Not Eds:** how are your cousins?

 **Resident Nerd:** pretty good I think

 **Not Eds:** didn't one get married liek last year

 **Resident Nerd:** ya

 **Resident Nerd:** i wnert to the wddint

 **Queen B:** how old are ur cousins

 **Resident Nerd:** 25 21 and 12

 **Queen B:** oh

 **Resident Nerd:** and the one that is 21 is engaged to the girl he's been in love with since he was 12

 **Queen B:** that's so sweet OMG

 **Big Ben:** This guy is dedicated

 **Not Eds:** ben…

 **Big Ben:** what?

 **Big Ben:** I wanna meet this guy

 **Resident Nerd:** alrighty then

 _Cousins 2.0_

 **Richest of them all:** hey mike my friends want to meet you

 **Hi my last name is Byers:** why not me?

 **Hi my last name is Byers:** and ugh why is this still my username

 **Mike on a Bike (with El):** I agree with the latter statement.

 **Holey Holly:** because you're both lovesick idiots

 **Richest of them all:** holly gets it

 _Derry Gays_

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** are we gonna get to meet him

 **Resident Nerd:** im workign on it

 **Resident Nerd:** they're complaining about the usernames I gave them

 **Not Eds:** I can relate

 _Cousins 2.0_

 **Richest of them all:** can I just add u to the group message?

 **Richest of them all:** and you too nance

 **Hi my last name is Byers:** thank you

 **Holey Holly:** me too?

 **Richest of them all:** uh

 **Richest of them all:** i cannot guarantee the chat will be appropriate for your young eyes

 **Mike on a Bike (with El):** and whose fault is that I wonder?

 **Richest of them all:** I feel attacked

 **Richest of them all:** just answer the question

 **Mike on a Bike (with El):** ok

 **Hi my last name is Byers:** ok

 _Derry Gays_

 _Resident Nerd added Nancy Byers and Mike Wheeler to the chat_

 **Resident Nerd:** losers, please give a hearty welcome to my cousin Mike and my cousin Nancy

 **Mike Wheeler:** why is your name resident nerd?

 **Queen B:** because he tries to deny it but he's such a huge nerd

 **Queen B:** he's heading for becoming valedictorian

 **Nancy Byers:** continue the family tradition!

 **Mike Wheeler:** I don't recommend it. Your s/o gets all lonely.

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** did you hear that eddie

 **Not Eds:** i will end u bill

 **Stan:** NO! You're not to harm Bill!

 **Queen B:** #stenbroughconfirmed

 **Resident Nerd:** anyways did you guys want to meet my cousins or not

 **Big Ben:** yes!

 **Resident Nerd:** ok introductions are in order

 **Resident Nerd:** first off we have the lovely Beverly Marsh, my bestest friend in the world.

 **Nancy Byers:** oh man I feel bad for you

 **Queen B:** me too, me too

 **Resident Nerd:** you wound me

 **Resident Nerd:** and then we have Benjamin Hanscom, the sickeningly sweet boyfriend of bev

 **Big Ben:** hi

 **Mike Wheeler:** nice to meet you

 **Nancy Byers:** hey

 **Resident Nerd:** then we have the prickly Stanley Uris, who is a stickler about grammar and is hopelessly in love with Bill

 **Stan:** nice to meet you. And screw you Richie.

 **Nancy Byers:** I can get behind the grammar thing.

 **Mike Wheeler:** Me too.

 **Resident Nerd:** then we have William Denbrough, the person who is constantly nagging us

 **Queen B:** truth

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** I just want you guys to make good choices!

 **Queen B:** you can see why his username is what it is

 **Nancy Byers:** lol nice to meet you bill

 **Resident Nerd:** and we have, if he's still here, Mike Hanlon, who is homeschooled and rubs it in our faces all the time, and when he's not doing that complains about being homeschooled

 **Mike Wheeler:** nice to meet you name twin

 **Home Boy:** nice to meet you too name twin

 **Resident Nerd:** and that's all my friends

 **Not Eds:** i hate you.

 **Resident Nerd:** I said that was all my friends

 **Resident Nerd:** You, my eddie spaghetti are the light of my life, my shining star, my cute little asthmatic short-short wearing eddie-pie

 **Not Eds:** I repeat. I hate you.

 **Not Eds:** and don't call me any of those things

 **Resident Nerd:** okay eds

 **Not Eds:** have I mentioned I hate you?

 **Not Eds:** deeply and passionately.

 **Resident Nerd:** love you too eddie bear

 **Nancy Byers:** OMG I ship it

 **Queen B:** same sis, same

 **Home Boy:** we all do

 **Not Eds:** Gross.

 **Queen B:** they're just in denial

 **Resident Nerd:** what? Me in denial? Haha.

 **Home Boy:** that reminds me

 **Home Boy:** stenbrough wya

 **Queen B:** ya we need answers

 **Stan:** …

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** …

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** FINE.

 **Queen B:** OMG!

 _The Birds and the Bills_

 **Stan:** are we actually gonna tell them?

 **Bill:** I mean we kinda owe it to them

 **Stan:** but the questions!

 **Bill:** I can answer them

 **Bill:** I don't mind

 **Stan:** okay.

 _Derry Gays_

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** so Stan and I are indeed dating

 **Queen B:** OMG this is the fifth happiest day of my life!

 **Home Boy:** finally

 **Resident Nerd:** I am so proud of both of you.

 **Stan:** sentences with mildly good grammar? From Richie? What has happened to our trashmouth?

 **Resident Nerd:** when I'm happy my Nerd comes out. I can't control it.

 **Queen B:** lol

 **Nancy Byers:** good for both of you!

 **Mike Wheeler:** congrats guys!

 **Big Ben:** I just got back to this and I spit out my milk.

 **Big Ben:** we should all go celebrate

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** awwww thanks guys

 **Stan:** you guys are the best!

 **Resident Nerd:** aww thanks Stan

 **Queen B:** I love all my best friends

 **Big Ben:** me too!

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** me too!

 **Resident Nerd:** me too!

 **Home Boy:** me too!

 **Mike Wheeler:** that was undeniably sweet.

 **Nancy Byers:** yeah I can't believe Richie has that in him

 **Mike Wheeler:** me either

 **Resident Nerd:** hey!

 **Nancy Byers:** anyways I gtg, Jonathan will be home soon

 _Nancy Byers left the chat_

 **Mike Wheeler:** and I've got homework

 **Mike Wheeler:** nice to meet all of you!

 _Mike Wheeler left the chat_

 **Queen B:** your cousins are pretty chill rich

 **Resident Nerd:** yeah I know

 **Big Ben:** ice cream anyone?

 **Queen B:** YES

 **Stan:** I'm in.

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** me too

 **Home Boy:** I can probably drive out

 **Resident Nerd:** y'all have fun

 **Queen B:** you're not coming?

 **Resident Nerd:** nah I have some homework to catch up on

 **Queen B:**...alright?

 **Resident Nerd:** actually, screw homework, I'll be there

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** where's Eddie? I just realized he hasn't responded in a while.

 **Stan:** Sonia probably has him on lockdown.

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** I'll stop by his house and see if he wants to come. Sonia loves me

 **Big Ben:** she does not

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** I'm her favorite!

 **Queen B:** true, true

 **Stan:** I'll go with you, please? Sonia likes me too.

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** of course!

 **Queen B:** 3

 **Queen B:** stenbrough is goals

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** so is Benverly

 **Home Boy:** the love in this chat tonight

 **Home Boy:** it brings me to tears

 **Big Ben:** ok see you all soon

 **Wednesday 12:09 p.m.**

 _Love for Richie_

 _Bell Bev Devoe added Eddie Kraspbrak to the chat_

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** does anyone know where Richie is?

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** I called him like a thousand times since this morning

 **Eddie Kraspbrak:** he hasn't responded to any of my calls or texts or anything

 **Mike Hanlon:** I can go out and look for him. You all enjoy your lunches.

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** if he doesn't turn up soon I'm gonna ditch and go find him

 **Mike Hanlon:** I'll keep you guys updated.

 **Mommy Dearest:** thanks Mike

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** I swear one day that boy is gonna kill me

 **Eddie Kraspbrak:** we do have to worry about him a lot

 **Haystack:** true fact

 **Eddie Kraspbrak:** I hope he's okay. With his dad in town…

 **Mommy Dearest:** I know. I'm seriously worried.

 **Mike Hanlon:** I don't see him yet.

 **Mike Hanlon:** I'm going to go to his house.

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** please be careful, Mike, his dad gets very violent

 **Mike Hanlon:** I will be

 **Wednesday 1:00 p.m.**

 _Love for Richie_

 **Mike Hanlon:** you guys need to get over here

 **Mike Hanlon:** Right Now.

 **Mike Hanlon:** leave whatever class you're in

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** Mike, what's happened? You're really freaking me out. Is Richie okay?

 **Mike Hanlon:** I found Richie, it's really bad

 **Big Ben:** ok I'll go get stan, his class is in the middle of a test

 **Mommy Dearest:** Eddie is having a panic attack right now

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** we are all on our way

 **Wednesday 1:13 p.m.**

 _Love for Richie_

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** please please please tell me there is a different reason for the ambulances than I think

 **Stan:** there are ambulances?!

 **Thursday 10:47 a.m.**

 _Love for Richie_

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** Richie just woke up!

 **Stan:** oh thank my good Jewish ancestors

 **Mommy Dearest:** best news ever

 **Haystack:** thank you thank you thank you

 **Mike Hanlon:** thank god

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** the best part?

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** Eddie is in there with him stroking his hair. And I have a full confession from both of them who forgot I was in there

 **Haystack:** I know it's really not the time but can we please hear it?

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** e: omg thank **** you are awake r: miss me much? e: if you weren't mostly broken I'd kiss you right now r: (wide eyed) no please go ahead e: no I'm not going to hurt you any more than you already are r: I don't care e: *notices I'm in the room and yelps and throws a pillow at me telling me to get out*

 **Mommy Dearest:** finally

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** and this is a mixed blessing but Wentworth is going to jail and his parents are going to lose custody

 **Haystack:** how is that bad

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** his closest relatives live in Indiana, remember?

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** he's not 18 yet so he'd have to live with them

 **Stan:** so basically unless we find an alternative, he's going to have to move to Indiana

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** yeah

 **Mommy Dearest:** well at least no more things like last night will happen again

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** truth.

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** I'm going to go in and talk to Richie now. Y'all should come down to the hospital after school

 **Haystack:** will do

 **Mike Hanlon:** I'm already on my way

 **Friday 11:12 a.m.**

 _Derry Gays_

 **Resident Nerd:** guess who's back in the world of the living?

 **Resident Nerd:** aka I have my phone back

 **Queen B:** nice to have a distraction during class

 **Not Eds:** god I leave him alone for five minutes…

 **Resident Nerd:** I am attacked

 **Queen B:** I missed my daily dose of trashmouth in the chat

 **Stan:** I can't believe I'm going to say this, but me too.

 **Resident Nerd:** I love all of you

 **Queen B:** love you too

 **Stan:** fine.

 **Stan:** love you too

 **Resident Nerd:**!

 **Not Eds:** love ya, rich

 **Resident Nerd:** love you too Eds

 **Not Eds:** you ruined it

 **Resident Nerd:** aw :(

 **Resident Nerd:** come on you know you love it

 **Not Eds:** we will talk later. Let me enjoy this terrible hospital cafeteria food right now.

 **Resident Nerd:** will do

 **Resident Nerd:** and it's not THAT bad

 **Queen B:** Stan, did you read all of that

 **Stan:** I did indeed.

 **Queen B:** what do we think of that?

 **Stan:** we are relieved because now we don't have to deal with all the pining

 **Queen B:** seems accurate

 **Queen B:** I'm also jumping for joy in the middle of class

 **Queen B:** but that's irrelevant

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** I just read through this and I feel like jumping for joy, too

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** but Bev covered that in this classroom

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** our teacher was mad until she said she got good news about Richie

 **Queen B:** pretty sure he thinks Richie and I are dating

 **Queen B:** because we always show up in detention together for PDA

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** um what?

 **Resident Nerd:** stupid principle gives us detention when we smoke, but there isn't a rule against it, so he just claims pda

 **Queen B:** he just despises Richie because he never goes to class and has the highest grades in the school

 **Resident Nerd:** a lot of people hate me for that actually

 **Stan:** me included

 **Resident Nerd:** stan /3

 **Stan:** until you help me with the horrors of APUSH

 **Queen B:** stan and his APUSH

 **Not Eds:** guys stop texting Richie he's supposed to be resting

 **Stan:** will do

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** we will all come by after school

 **Friday 4:29 p.m.**

 _Derry Gays_

 **Home Boy:** ( )

 **Queen B:** 3

 **Big Ben:** finally

 **Stan:** how come I have a feeling that Reddie is going to be an overly adorable couple that like also makes you fear for your life?

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** because that's what they are going to be

 **Queen B:** that's what they already are

 **Home Boy:** a truth.

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** we are all stuck in the elevator btw, so if you could get someone to save us, that'd be great

 **Home Boy:** on it!

 **Saturday 9:46 a.m.**

 _Derry Gays_

 **Stan:** so I'm at the hospital, and my mom just got finished talking to Richie's aunt Karen, who had to fly in because of what happened. Anyways, the two of them have arranged for Richie to live with us until college

 **Queen B:** that's such great news!

 **Big Ben:** time to celebrate with ice cream!

 **Resident Nerd:** give me like 3 hours then I'll be free of this infernal place

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** will do

*a week (and 3 days) later*

 **Tuesday 5:23 p.m.**

 _Derry Gays_

 **Resident Nerd:** hey Eds, how'd you feel about making out with me in front of the principal

 **Not Eds:** wrong chat, Rich

 **Resident Nerd:** oh whoops

 **Queen B:** Richie, do you have a desire for detention

 **Resident Nerd:** yes, actually

 **Resident Nerd:** I'm sick of the detention teacher thinking Bev and I are a couple

 **Big Ben:** me too

 **Not Eds:** me too

 **Queen B:** alright then

 **Home Boy:** are we ignoring the fact that Richie just casually asked Eddie to make out with him

 **Big Ben:** our poor home schooled Michael

 **Stan:** those two have had each other's tounges down each other's throats more often than not.

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** I'm not sure what else we expected

 **Resident Nerd:** that's distinctly not true

 **Not Eds:** we have never done anything of the sort at school, only when we go off campus for lunch

 **Not Eds:** in order to avoid detention

 **Not Eds:** so my mom doesn't freak out

 **Resident Nerd:** oh ya. Forgot about that

 **Not Eds:** actually, you know what? I'd love for my mom to get a call from the school saying I got detention for making out with my boyfriend.

 **Queen B:** you would?

 **Not Eds:** yes. It's time for me to stop letting her rule my life.

 **Stan:** well if you get kicked out you can come live with Richie and I.

 **Resident Nerd:** it would be like a shelter for displaced gay boys

 **Stan:** except for the fact that I'm not displaced.

 **Resident Nerd:** but you're gay

 **Stan:** your point?

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** boys stop fighting

 **Queen B:** anyways Eddie would come live with me. My aunt has a soft spot for him and we can't have Richie and Eddie in the same house

 **Resident Nerd:** I don't see a problem with it

 **Queen B:** maybe YOU don't

 **Not Eds:** anyways come over to my house right now and we can practice that making out for tomorrow

 **Resident Nerd:** On my way!

 **Resident Nerd:** window?

 **Not Eds:** yup

 **Stan:** Gross.

 **Queen B:** with the impending absence of Richie and Eddie from the chat for the foreseeable future, Ben you wanna come over and bake some cookies for my baking class

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** they have a baking class?

 **Queen B:** yup. It's listed under the many classes for the underachieving student

 **Big Ben:** no it's not. It's just a plain elective

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** who knew

 **Queen B:** me.

 **Home Boy:** seeing as I will be the only person not engaged in romantic endeavors tonight, I will do my homework

 **Stan:** I would hesitate to call Richie's frantic rush to his car romantic, but to each his own.

 **Home Boy:** stop talking and go meet bill

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** yeah, stan

 **Wednesday 12:00 p.m.**

 _Derry Gays_

 **Home Boy:** is Eddie actually going along with Richie's plan?

 **Queen B:** I believe so.

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** they aren't at lunch

 **Home Boy:** keep me updated

 **Queen B:** don't worry I got detention in order to see how it all goes down

 **Home Boy:** your willingness to end up in detention scares me

 **Queen B:** it scares my aunt too

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** it scares all of us

 **Queen B:** ok why is no one commenting on Richie's willingness to get detention?

 **Stan:** because it is simply one of many things that scares one about Richie.

 **Home Boy:** for instance his habit of texting while driving, never listening to authority, and trying to annoy everyone within 10 feet of him are more concerning

 **Resident Nerd:** nice to know what you think of me Michael

 **Queen B:** I assume your plan was successful?

 **Resident Nerd:** I've decided it is a plan that should be executed every day

 **Not Eds:** good luck with that

 **Not Eds:** I'm not willing to miss my lunch everyday

 **Not Eds:** not even for the look on the principals face when he came out to find what had slammed against the lockers outside his office and then the look when he saw who it was

 **Resident Nerd:** #worthit

 **Stan:** wow.

 **Queen B:** I aspire to be on Richie's level of flouting authority

 **Stan:** honestly, the of the lot of you make it out of high school I will be surprised.

 **Queen B:** don't worry, me too

 **Home Boy:** well I will

 **Stan:** ok revision: I'll be surprised if Bev and Rich make it out of high school. And maybe Eddie too if he continues like this. Richie is a bad influence.

 **Big Ben:** well Richie has to graduate otherwise we won't have a valedictorian

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** true that

 **Not Eds:** Bev did you actually get detention

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** yup

 **Queen B:** I smoked outside school in front of the principals parking spot

 **Queen B:** too easy

 **Stan:** all my friends are delinquents

 **Resident Nerd:** see ya in detention bevvy boo

 **Queen B:** see ya in detention babe

 **Big Ben:** you guys are so weird

 **Queen B:** Ben /3

 **Big Ben:** I'm so sorry for us, Eddie. We have to date them.

 **Not Eds:** I know.

 **Resident Nerd:** /3

 **Queen B:** /3

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** get to class, children

 **Resident Nerd:** ok mommy

 **Stan:** beep beep Richie

 **Wednesday 5:11 p.m.**

 _Derry Gays_

 **Queen B:** ok OMG 100% worth it

 **Not Eds:** that was pretty epic

 **Resident Nerd:** EDDIE I LOVE YOU

 **Queen B:** ME TOO

 **Home Boy:** what happened?

 **Queen B:** so I arrived first no detention teacher or anything

 **Queen B:** then Richie and Eddie come in together

 **Queen B:** still no detention teacher

 **Queen B:** so Richie plops himself down on the table where I'm sitting

 **Not Eds:** so naturally I sit on his lap

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** naturally.

 **Queen B:** anyways Richie is simply sitting there, arms around eddie's waist and Eddie smacks him and tells him he's an idiot

 **Resident Nerd:** which was completely undeserved, might I add

 **Queen B:** and then he says he didn't get detention just to sit there and I'm sure you can all imagine what happens next

 **Resident Nerd:** you can't blame me

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** since they've been in love with each other since they were twelve I suppose there's a lot of pent up emotion

 **Queen B:** true that

 **Queen B:** anyways the detention teacher walks in and actually drops his briefcase, which is hilarious

 **Not Eds:** so Bev bursts out laughing

 **Queen B:** it was funny!

 **Resident Nerd:** and the detention teacher is so confused

 **Queen B:** my best recollection: "But but you (meaning me) and he…(meaning Richie)"

 **Queen B:** and then I say "hey Mr. Pretak this is Eddie. I expect you'll see him in detention with us a lot."

 **Resident Nerd:** and his eyes go even wider

 **Queen B:** and then Eddie goes: "I unfortunately like to give Richie what he wants which means we end up like this quite often."

 **Resident Nerd:** and then he sputters something about how he didn't know Bev Eddie and I were a threesome

 **Queen B:** I die of laughter and Eddie splutters then says, "obviously you don't understand, but Richie is gay and is dating me. Beverly has been dating Ben Hanscom for two years and her and Richie have only kissed once."

 **Queen B:** to which detention teacher says to Richie "you're gay?"

 **Queen B:** and Eddie rolls his eyes at him and proceeds to completely tell him off saying, "have you ever noticed this boy wears exclusively ripped skinny jeans and leather jackets with pride flags?"

 **Resident Nerd:** then Bev says, "the occasional use of black eyeshadow and less occasionally other makeup items? No?"

 **Queen B:** and then Eddie, my hero, jumps off Richie's lap and says, "don't worry, I knew he was gay and I couldn't figure out he was in love with me, despite all of my friends telling me it was true. So really, you aren't doing any worse than me, and I've known him since I was 4," pats detention teacher on the shoulder and walks out. And then he turns around and calls, "see you next week!" And waves then walks around the corner.

 **Big Ben:** omg what a legend

 **Queen B:** ikr

 **Resident Nerd:** and Bev and I are all shocked and detention teacher is looking like he's gonna have a heart attack

 **Queen B:** and he sputters out something like "but you and he… detention for PDA…"

 **Resident Nerd:** and then Bev goes "oh that's just because the principal hates Richie and wants to put him in detention for smoking, but he can't so he claims PDA."

 **Queen B:** and poor detention teacher just nods, picks up his spilled papers and walks over to his desk

 **Resident Nerd:** so Bev and I dutifully sit in detention for the full time and then we get released and now we have to find Eddie and celebrate because that deserves celebration

 **Not Eds:** come over to my house my moms not home

 **Resident Nerd:** well then what is the point

 **Resident Nerd:** if I can't get that sweet loving from ms k

 **Not Eds:** I hate you

 **Not Eds:** I hope everyone knows I hate him

 **Stan:** funny, since you're dating him

 **Not Eds:** only because he's my only option

 **Resident Nerd:** ouch

 **Queen B:** that's not even true

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** yeah there's that one kid who dyed his hair the colors of the rainbow for pride day last year

 **Not Eds:** he's also not actually a he

 **Stan:** what.

 **Not Eds:** her name is Chris, short for Christina, and she's lesbian

 **Queen B:** how do you know these things

 **Not Eds:** I have sources

 **Home Boy:** I have no idea who we are talking about

 **Big Ben:** these are the things you miss out on when you chill at home all day

 **Home Boy:** I still get all the drama and suffering tho

 **Queen B:** not all the suffering

 **Stan:** APUSH :'(

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** stan did you just use an emoji

 **Stan:** Yes. Nothing else conveyed the pain.

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** we've corrupted him!

 **Queen B:** finally

 **Big Ben:** oh no

 **Not Eds:** r u two still coming to my house or not

 **Queen B:** oh!

 **Queen B:** we were almost there but my aunt called me and told me I had to come home so Richie's dropping me off

 **Queen B:** so I don't think so sorry Eddie

 **Not Eds:** ur fine

 **Queen B:** also I stole Richie's phone so he wouldn't text and drive and kill me

 **Stan:** a wise decision

 **Stan:** also tell him tonight is pizza night and if he wants any he should come home soon

 **Queen B:** will do

 **Wednesday 9:48 p.m.**

 _Love for Richie_

 **Stan:** Bev, did anything happen after school?

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** what do you mean?

 **Stan:** Richie came home sopping wet, and laid on the couch just throwing a ball in the air and catching it for like 30 minutes and then he just started sobbing and locked himself in his room?

 **Stan:** what do I do? Is this a normal occurrence or is this concerning? My mom is worried.

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** when did he get home?

 **Stan:** around 9

 **Stan:** I figured he went to eddies house

 **Eddie Kraspbrak:** I thought he was at your place

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** ok well normally I'd come over to help you but my aunt has me on house arrest so I can't

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** you might as well all know this i guess, because Richie sometimes has off nights, usually set off by his mother saying something about how she wishes he was never born or how she wishes he could be more like his father, it really varies

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** usually he texts me afterwards, but he apparently did not this time. It's because he knows I'm not going to be allowed out.

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** anyways, what you need to do is go up there and just talk him through it. Don't ask what happened because then he won't tell you anything.

 **Stan:** got it

 **Mike Hanlon:** how long has this been happening for

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** I don't know. I think since he was 12

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** but it's gotten a lot worse since he turned 16

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** I first found out when he was 14

 **Stan:** I'm going to head up now

 **Stan:** I'll keep you updated

 _Edison-Beaverly_

 **Edison:** you mean to tell me that Richie's mom has been telling him she wishes he'd never been born since he was 12

 **Beaverly:** or earlier, I'm really not sure. It didn't start out that harsh though. At first she just complained about how much work he was

 **Beaverly:** the day I found out was the first day she ever told him she wished he'd never been born.

 **Edison:** how come he never told us

 **Beaverly:** you know Richie. He's never actually said it, but he thinks that if he tells you his own mom thinks that his friends will too.

 **Beaverly:** the only reason I found out was because I had been smoking with him in his room when his mom came home

 **Beaverly:** then when his mom found out he was gay…

 **Beaverly:** you don't even want to know what she's said to him. It's awful. And he just takes it.

 **Edison:** how often does it happen?

 **Beaverly:** it really depends

 **Beaverly:** usually it happens in waves

 **Beaverly:** I really don't know what to do.

 **Edison:** what do you mean

 **Beaverly:** it's just that I don't know how to help. What do you do when your friend has been physically and emotionally abused since he was a child?

 **Edison:** I have no idea. Give him a home with us.

 **Beaverly:** I think we all try to.

 **Beaverly:** but I've always wondered if I've done the wrong thing, keeping it a secret for so many years from the authorities.

 **Edison:** me too

 **Beaverly:** I think it's selfishness thats kept all of us from telling anyone

 **Edison:** you mean the fact that none of us want him to leave

 **Beaverly:** yes

 **Edison:** yeah

 **Edison:** I truly have no idea where any of us would be without him

 **Edison:** especially me

 **Edison:** I can't think of anyone else willing to help me stand up to my mother and her demeaning ways

 **Beaverly:** or anyone else willing to drive me three hours away to find a pregnancy test

 **Edison:** seriously

 **Beaverly:** yeah.

 **Edison:** whoa

 **Beaverly:** it was just a scare

 **Beaverly:** but it meant a lot to me that he was willing to do it

 **Beaverly:** since Derry is a small town and people talk

 **Edison:** does Ben know

 **Beaverly:** I told him later

 **Beaverly:** and we were more careful

 **Beaverly:** I just thought it was important for you to know that Richie isn't the only one of us with secrets

 **Edison:** thanks Bev

 **Beaverly:** of course

 **Edison:** now what's taking Stan so long

 **Beaverly:** idk

 **Beaverly:** he's probably just talking with Richie

 **Edison:** ok

 **Wednesday 11:07 p.m.**

 _Love for Richie_

 **Stan:** his mom called him and said some nasty things

 **Stan:** my mom and I comforted him and assured him we wanted him with us. He's going to start going to the synagogue with us again.

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** really?

 **Stan:** my mom's really religious. She thinks people in crisis should turn to god.

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** and she thinks Richie's in crisis?

 **Stan:** she wants him to move in to my room instead of the guest room.

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** why?

 **Stan:** I think you know better than any of the rest of us Bev

 **Eddie Kraspbrak:** what is that suppose to mean?

 **Eddie Kraspbrak:** what aren't you guys telling me?

 **Stan:** how long has this been going on Bev?

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** it hasn't.

 **Stan:** why haven't you said anything?

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** I don't know stan. I wasn't sure it was going on. And this is Derry we're talking about.

 **Mommy Dearest:** what's going on?

 **Eddie Kraspbrak:** what are you two talking about?

 _Elusive Eddie-Best Bill_

 **Best Bill:** I was pretty sure I knew but the Derry thing threw me off

 **Elusive Eddie:** how come we never noticed anything?

 **Best Bill:** probably because we didn't want to see it

 _Love for Richie_

 **Stan:** we deserved to know

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** don't put all of this on me! I'm trying to deal with a lot too okay!

 **Stan:** sorry.

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** no it's okay

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** is everyone here?

 **Mommy Dearest:** I am

 **Eddie Kraspbrak:** me too

 **Haystack:** I've been here the whole time but I didn't think it was my place to say anything

 **Mike Hanlon:** me too

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** ok

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** my mom died when I was young

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** the circumstances of her death were suspicious but no one was found guilty

 **Bell Bev Devoe** : I learned a few years ago that my father was the prime suspect

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** he was always very cruel, sometimes in a physical way with me

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** one day when I was 12 he strangled me, and I hit him over the head with a pan in self defense

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** it was just after I met all of you

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** there was a court case and he was found guilty and I went to live with my mother's sister, my aunt

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** I didn't want anyone to know because I was afraid people would treat me like I was broken

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** and I didn't want to be the girl who forever had to deal with the shadow her father had forced her into

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** I wanted to ride from the ashes and be the Phoenix and not have him weighing on me any longer

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** I wanted to live a normal life, one where I was loved for me, not where I was loved out of pity for my past

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** and all of you have given that to me

 **Haystack:** we all love you Bev, no matter what

 **Eddie Kraspbrak:** yeah Bev, we all love you

 **Mike Hanlon:** big sister Bev

 **Mommy Dearest:** the first person anyone turns to when they need a hug and some sense talked into them

 **Stan:** the group cheerleader.

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** haha I like that

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** anyways my point was that I only handled the situation how I would have wanted to be handled. How Richie begged me to handle it.

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** but the cat's out of the bag, as it is

 **Stan:** it's okay Bev.

 **Stan:** you've given enough shocking revelations as it is.

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** haha

 **Stan:** sorry for yelling at you.

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** it's ok you were just worried about Richie

 **Stan:** anyways

 **Stan:** my mom is worried Richie will try to commit suicide

 **Mommy Dearest:** that's what I feared

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** it's his mother

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** she yells at him and tells him everyone he knows would be happier if he was dead and he should just end it all

 **Eddie Kraspbrak:** I think I'm going to be sick

 **Stan:** he jumped off the cliff at the Barrons tonight.

 **Stan:** only into the water where we've all jumped before, and he said that he's thought about but never jumped from the other cliffs.

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** I never knew that he did that, only suspected.

 **Stan:** my mom contacted authorities and is going to have a restraining order placed on his mom

 **Stan:** for now we've blocked her number

 **Eddie Kraspbrak:** good.

 **Stan:** try to get some sleep. We'll all see each other at school tomorrow

 **Haystack:** aokay, goodnight

 **Bell Bev Devoe:** goodnight Benny bear! I love you 3

 **Haystack:** goodnight Bev, love you

 **Mike Hanlon:** goodnight everyone

 **Mommy Dearest:** goodnight

 **Thursday 6:25 a.m.**

 _Derry Gays_

 **Resident Nerd:** so I guess you all know now huh?

 **Stan:** I panicked.

 **Resident Nerd:** no it's okay

 **Not Eds:** no it's not okay!

 **Not Eds:** I know my mom isn't the best, but deep down I know she loves me. You're mom is so so wrong to say those things about you. You're one of the most compassionate people I've ever met.

 **Resident Nerd:** that's not true

 **Queen B:** uhm yes

 **Queen B:** taking a day out of your life to go on a three hour drive to find me a pregnancy test far enough away

 **Stan:** and that time you snuck out of your house and stayed up all night with me reviewing for my first AP test.

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** or the time I was sick and couldn't take Georgie to his friend's birthday dinner thing and you brought him and then sat with all the parents for the whole time

 **Big Ben:** or the time that you spent the whole day with me in the library when I got fired

 **Home Boy:** or the day that my girlfriend broke up with me and everyone else was really busy so we spent the whole day at the quarry together and spent the whole day fooling around forgetting all our mistakes

 **Not Eds:** not to mention you always carry around a spare inhaler in case I ever have a panic attack and might need it

 **Not Eds:** and you always give me the courage to stand up to my mother

 **Resident Nerd:** wow how did I get such great friends

 **Queen B:** the real question is how WE got such a great friend

 **Home Boy:** the real truth

 **Not Eds:** anyways Richie

 **Not Eds:** I know we talked it over at length but I love you

 **Not Eds:** you are incredibly valuable to me

 **Not Eds:** and despite the both of us my favorite person in the universe

 **Queen B:** I'm not crying you are :'(

 **Resident Nerd:** wow I love you Eddie

 **Stan:** he's actually like on the ground making happy little noises

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** get to school children

 **Home Boy:** oh please none of you are going to school

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** I was planning on going

 **Stan:** I wasn't

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** I meant I wasn't planning on going

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** anyone who says otherwise is completely incorrect

 **Big Ben:** the power Stan holds…

*Two Weeks Later*

 **Thursday 6:29 p.m.**

 _Derry Gays_

 **Stan:** Oh My God.

 **Stan:** I thought Bev was kidding when she said that Richie only listens to My My My! By Troye Sivan.

 **Stan:** She wasn't.

 **Stan:** this is the fifth time he's played it in a row today

 **Stan:** and he listens to it everyday when he brushes his teeth

 **Stan:** and when he wakes up

 **Home Boy:** wow he's so annoyed he's using bad grammar

 **Not Eds:** haha

 **Not Eds:** he does listen to it a lot

 **Queen B:** I think you mean he does listen to it obsessively

 **Queen B:** even more so now

 **Not Eds:** I know.

 **Not Eds:** he was trying to get me to agree to it being "our song" and when I said no he said it still was going to be

 **Queen B:** I know.

 **Queen B:** the idiot.

 **Resident Nerd:** oh my god you guys

 **Queen B:** oh no

 **Stan:** bwahahaha

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** oh my god Richie broke Stan

 **Stan:** he was dancing around the living room and my mom came home from the store, shook her head and then turned to me and asked me if he'd finally asked Eddie out.

 **Stan:** and then Richie just stops in utter shock and goes "you know?"

 **Stan:** and she says, "sweetheart, if that was a secret you needed to be a lot less obvious."

 **Resident Nerd:** and Stan the traitor starts laughing hysterically

 **Stan:** and I happily inform her they've been dating for over three weeks and she says, "finally".

 **Queen B:** that's golden

 **Resident Nerd:** oh haha

 **Resident Nerd:** very funny

 **Resident Nerd:** you should come out to your mom Stan

 **Stan:** nope.

 **Queen B:** why not?

 **Big Ben:** yeah, it seems that she was totally fine with Richie

 **Stan:** that's because, no offense Richie, she thinks Richie is messed up because of how he was raised.

 **Resident Nerd:** she's not wrong.

 **Resident Nerd:** but either way

 **Resident Nerd:** it's up to you

 **Stan:** not right now

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** okay.

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** I haven't told my parents yet either

 **Not Eds:** well my mom is about to find out so wish me luck

 **Resident Nerd:** what.

 **Not Eds:** she's coming home from work soon and there's a voicemail from the school about my recent flouting of rules

 **Not Eds:** apparently if you get detention three times in three weeks and ditch school once they call home

 **Queen B:** I forgot about that

 **Resident Nerd:** lol it's becaude u amd I hacevsoenb so Kevin in detinon

 **Queen b:**?

 **Stan:** he just ran out to his car

 **Queen B:** ah

 **Not Eds:** I stg Richie you better not text and drive

 **Resident Nerd:** wouldn't dream of it

 **Home Boy:** as he's texting and driving

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** what else did we expect

 **Big Ben:** I had no expectations

 **Home Boy:** good

 **Not Eds:** he's probably running all the red lights too

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** for you?

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** 100%

 **Queen B:** Richie is in #eddiemode ™

 **Big Ben:** haha

 _Eds - Trashmouth_

 **Eds:** you didn't have to come you know

 **Trashmouth:** I wanted to

 **Eds:** ok but hurry because she'll be home soon

 **Trashmouth:** I'm going to park a block away

 **Eds:** okay

 **Eds:** why

 **Trashmouth:** So shw doeamy keno I'm there

 **Eds:** okay

 **Thursday 8:58 p.m.**

 _Derry Gays_

 **Not Eds:** I know you'll all be interested so Richie and I will give you the run down before bed

 **Queen B:** OMG finally

 **Resident Nerd:** I knew you'd be on your phone all night waiting

 **Queen B:** we aren't best friends for nothing

 **Big Ben:** I've been with Bev all night waiting

 **Queen B:** my aunt's not home

 **Resident Nerd:** make sure to use protection children

 **Queen B:** if you keep stalling on the telling of this story there won't be time protection or otherwise

 **Resident Nerd:** TMI

 **Stan:** I agree with Richie.

 **Not Eds:** ANYWAYS

 **Not Eds:** Richie got here just before my mother did and hid in the bathroom

 **Resident Nerd:** which was a great idea if I do say so myself

 **Not Eds:** he's an idiot

 **Not Eds:** so my mother comes home and I tell her there is a message from the school

 **Not Eds:** so she listens to it

 **Not Eds:** and turns to me all angry and asks why I've been getting detention for PDA and asks me if I'm sure I know how many germs hugging transmits

 **Not Eds:** and then I calmly inform her that I didn't get detention for hugging

 **Not Eds:** and she's clearly relieved, thinking it's a mistake

 **Not Eds:** so I matter of fairly inform her that I got detention for making out

 **Not Eds:** and she about has a heart attack

 **Not Eds:** and yells at me asking me what girl I've been letting kiss me and telling me I have a death wish, and demands to know her name, clearly thinking it was Bev

 **Queen B:** what can I say? I get around

 **Not Eds:** and Richie promptly steps out and says "that'd be me." And gives a little wave hello and smiles.

 **Queen B:** you didn't

 **Resident Nerd:** I very much did

 **Not Eds:** unbeknownst to me, while Richie was in the bathroom he had put on black eyeshadow and black lipstick

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** I bet your mother loved that

 **Not Eds:** not exactly

 **Resident Nerd:** go big or go home

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** please tell me you didmt get sent home

 **Resident Nerd:** as if

 **Resident Nerd:** Ms K could hardly keep it in her pants

 **Not Eds:** I hate him

 **Resident Nerd:** then why are you sitting on my lap hmm

 **Not Eds:** I hate you

 **Resident Nerd:** love you too Eds

 **Not Eds:** I will murder you

 **Queen B:** a healthy relationship

 **Stan:** please continue with the story

 **Not Eds:** and my mom is just standing there in shock

 **Resident Nerd:** so I give her a kiss on the cheek and then put my arms around Eddie

 **Not Eds:** and then I tell my mom he'll be staying the night.

 **Resident Nerd:** and he grabs my arm and drags me upstairs, leaving both the lovely Ms K and I speechless

 **Not Eds:** and now we will be going to bed

 **Not Eds:** goodnight losers

 **Home Boy:** is literally everyone but me with a significant other?

 **Queen B:** mike, the seventh wheel

 **Home Boy:** honestly I'm so happy. It was so painful watching all of you dance around each other for YEARS

 **Home Boy:** tbh I feel like a secondhand new couple giddiness

 **Queen B:** a mood

 **Big Ben:** ^

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** okay everyone go to bed now

 **Mom Friend** **TM** **:** we will all see each other tomorrow

 **Queen B:** g night loserz

 **Big Ben:** goodnight everyone! Sweet dreams!

 **Stan:** don't let the depression bite

 **Queen B:** Okay wow

 **Home Boy:** goodnight.

 **A/N:** So this took me a year of inconsistent writing to finish, and I know the end was abrupt, and even though I had more ideas, I had to end it because otherwise I was never going to actually get around to publishing it. This was originally meant to be like 7 individual chapters, and not just a large chunk for you to try and get through, but again, I just wanted to get it up. Please leave a comment!


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